I discovered last week what a “flying monkey” is to a narcissist. Keep reading and you will, too.
My husband, my baby daughter, and I were living in a house owned by my mother and she lived in an apartment. It was Mother’s idea. She called one day and said she was tired of keeping up the house and the yard and she thought it was a good idea if we moved into her house.
At the time we were living in a small apartment in a small town close by. That’s a good idea, I thought. Of course, we were going to pay her rent. We agreed on $650 a month, a very fair price for her house, her neighborhood, and the times. So she moved into her apartment and we moved into her house.
I was in the backyard one day. Mother’s best friend, Aline, lived next door. She came over to the back fence and asked to speak to me. So I went over. “Are you living in your mother’s house for free while she has to pay apartment rent?”, she said, “Her apartment isn’t free, you know!”
I was shocked, honestly. I said, “Actually, we pay her 650 dollars a month, Aline. I have the cancelled checks inside. Let m e run in and get them.” Now, it was her turn to look shocked and she said something like, “Uhhh…uhhh…no, that’s OK.” I got wise really quickly and I said, “She insinuated that we were living here for free, didn’t she?” Aline had no idea what to reply.
To say that this was a revelation to me was an understatement. I finally understood what was going on. Mother was spreading lies about me to her friends, acquaintances, and god knows who else. Because she was unhappy. When it had been her idea from the beginning.
When you’re dealing with someone like this, it’s really hard to accept and understand that this is going on behind your back. Especially when it’s your mother. I only understood the extent of what was going on when I was 55 years old and moved up here. Then I got busy studying what I had been dealing with all of my life.
OK. So let’s review. A “flying monkey” is one who does the bidding of a narcissist – without question. Just like the “flying monkeys” in The Wizard Of Oz did the bidding of the evil witch. A “flying monkey” accepts the word of the narcissist and takes it upon themselves to face the victim and confront them, usually confusing the victim to no end (because there is no telling exactly what completely-made-up-ridiculous-lie the narcissist has told the hapless flying monkey).
Link to a really good article: https://www.wellandgood.com/narcissistic-flying-monkeys/
Tears and Catharsis 